Okay so there comes a time when you think, ‘what happened to the romance?’ The kids, the bills, the cooking, the cleaning, and the sheer exhaustion makes it hard some days to get in the mood. And forget about sex. How about just a little romance? When was the last time you got any quality alone time with your husband? One of my girlfriends was complaining to me that her husband never takes the initiative to plan a night together. She is waiting for him to make a dinner reservation or suprise her with something special. After 11 years of marriage I told her not to hold her breath. Does this make him a bad guy? Well, having three children, a mortgage, and putting food on the table is a lot to carry on your shoulders. Men have a lot of pressure. And while we do as moms, the guys have it worse. And anyone who wants to take me on for that here I am wide open. Especially now in this economy. Imagine the stress and anxiety our husbands are going through. And while being a mom is the hardest job there is keeping a roof over your family’s head has to be pretty darn close to mental torture. I simply point this out because a lot of us, including me, take for granted how much of a gift a ‘good provider’ is. So, maybe if you don’t get flowers this Valentines Day but you have the luxury to sleep in each morning, have your day to yourself, spend some money at your will, and not have to work and be away from your home and family… maybe that is a pretty romantic gift in itself. And ladies I think this is the ultimate turn on. So don’t wait for your husband to initiate romance. To him, taking care of you, he is already showing it. And to me, the fact that your man is working hard every day for you, is certainly something to get yourself all hot about. If you have this, you are a lucky girl.
But lets face it a lot of us still yearn for that extra bit of fantasy romance from our husbands no matter how hard they work. But I suggest instead of waiting for him to magically change, why not make the first move. In this month of February lets inspire love in our homes and reignite the fire.
Start by being appreciative and attentive. In my last blog we all talked about the tension our teens and tweens have created in our homes. And I know first hand how a bad night with the kids can end up. So it is more important than ever to keep your bond with your husband tight so the fighting with the children does not separate you. And we all know it can. You need to be and stay a strong and united front. A strong marriage is the best gift you can give your children. And being happy in front of your children is priceless.
Next, make a date. If you can’t get out alone, just take time on the sofa with a glass of wine to look in each others eyes and catch up. Make this a weekly staple in your lives.
Valentines Day this year is on a Saturday. I say this year we have a day of sweethearts and enjoy the Day with our entire families. Have romance the night before with your hubby. But on Saturday, make it special with your family. Heart shaped pancakes, red velvet heart shaped cake, and a special dinner.
I promise if mom sets the tone of sweetness and love, your entire family will come along. And if your husband feels like you really do adore him, the sparks will fly. I am sure of it.
But if you still want flowers and candy from your man like I do…. just tell him. Men are great with following directions.